Sunday, February 26, 2012

“Lola Wishes” (“Lola” continued)

Short Story (read a related story, “Lola,” here)
“Lola Wishes”
        Lola sat at her desk, reading a novel, doing a project for school, and trying desperately not to think about the one thing that had been bothering her lately: arguing with her boyfriend, Wally.  She did not really understand what had happened.  She was so in love with him; she’d do absolutely anything for him and loved him with all her heart.  Unfortunately, Wally was dealing with issues in his life that Lola couldn’t fix, as much as she wished she could.  She had tried to think of something she could do for him, but she was still in college, living with her mother, so she had no way of solving his problems at the moment.  If there were something she could do, she would, but unfortunately she couldn't find anything.  She often wished things were different and that they could spend more time together, but Wally's problems often prevented them from doing so.  Lola understood that he was busy dealing with these issues, and she tried to be as understanding as she could.  She still missed him when they were not together and she often sent him text messages because she wanted to talk to him somehow, even if they couldn’t see each other face to face all the time.  She knew sometimes he was busy and couldn't answer her, but whenever a day or so would go by without them speaking, she would be a little distressed.  Then sometimes he would write her really sweet things, which made her feel better and remember how nice he was.  She had loved him from the moment they met, as crazy as that may sound to some.  As time went by, she only loved him more, even when they argued, she couldn’t stop loving him and she did not want to.

        When they were together they never seemed to fight at all, everything was fine.  Recently though, when they were apart, they seemed to find things to argue about over the phone.  “Why are we fighting about this, I only wanted to talk to you and see how you were doing, Wally.  Does he still love me?  Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?  Why is he being like this? Does he know how much this hurts me?  Will I ever have what I want with him?  Please God, let us be okay.” Lola thought.  Lola hated arguing with those she loved, the only people she ever thought were worth arguing with about anything.  One problem had started after Wally had asked Lola a question, one she’d always dreamed her true love would ask her.  She never imagined it would happen the way it did though.  She responded in a way that, although she never meant it to, had hurt Wally.  He told her she had hurt him, and it killed her inside.  She really did not mean to; she never would want to hurt anyone, especially him.  After that she had apologized but they still continued to argue every so often.  He said some things to her that she really hoped he hadn’t meant and that had hurt her as well.  Maybe it was just because he was hurt and frustrated by certain things he was dealing with right now.  She had been upset far too often lately and she was tired of crying over this.  She wanted so badly to just be happy with him, but life just did not want to let them be.   

        Wally’s personal issues did not improve, unfortunately, and Lola began to fear that he may have to leave again, as he had once before.  This thought absolutely devastated her.  Lola remembered how sad she had been the first time Wally had left when she thought he would not return.  She knew if he left this time it would be worse, for she had grown to love him even more as time went on.  She knew it seemed insane, but she really did believe she would be with Wally forever.  He was her first and only boyfriend really, and she did not want anyone else.  She thought he was everything she had ever wanted, her prince.  Maybe this was na├»ve of her to think, but she didn’t care.  Maybe she wanted it so badly, she made herself believe it, but she did anyway.  Lola couldn’t take sitting alone with her thoughts any longer; it was driving her crazy.  It was a Saturday afternoon and she was a gorgeous 20, almost 21, year old young woman. “Why the hell am I sitting here being miserable, I’m so tired of this!” she said aloud, though no one heard her.  She went to her room and started to get dressed up a little because that always made her feel a little better.  She decided she would try to think about something else for a while, so as to retain some of her sanity and happiness.  She put on her brightest pink miniskirt, a purple lace top and her favorite black heeled boots.  She looked in the mirror and thought “Too bad my boyfriend’s not around to tell me how cute I look, all dressed up for myself, I suppose, what else is new!”  Lola decided she would go to the mall and perhaps wander the bookstore for a while. 

        She drove to the mall and walked into the bookstore, the same one where she had met Wally.  She probably should have known this was not the best place to try to forget about him for a while.  She loved it there though; she had spent countless hours perusing the shelves of all her favorite kinds of books and would not avoid it just because it reminded her of him.  She bought an espresso and sat down at a table next to some chatty teenage girls.  She looked across the room and could not help but stare at the table where she had first met Wally.  Her mind played a collage of fond scenes of his sweet smile, her nervousness on that first day, the things he had told her, watching him leave, and gushing gleefully about him to her sister and nieces after they’d met.  Her life had changed that day and she would never forget it.  She finished her drink and wandered through the books for a while.  She then decided she would walk around the mall and maybe buy herself a new top to make her feel a little better. 

        As she strolled though the stores, she couldn’t help but notice countless couples, some old, some younger than she, holding hands and walking together.  This agitated her a lot that day.  She was not a violent person at all, but she really wanted to smack someone at that moment…not that she would, but she was annoyed.  She wanted nothing more than to have been there with Wally, holding his hand, and walking happily together.  She remembered the first time he had held her hand.  On their second date, they had watched a movie together.  She loved the movie, she did, but somewhere in the middle of it, he had asked if he could hold her hand.  She remembered him gently taking her hand and stroking her fingers.  She had a little bit of a hard time concentrating entirely on the movie after that, but she didn’t mind.  At that point, it had been the most magical moment of her life.  That was until the night she kissed him for the first time.  She had been so nervous, but he made her feel okay about it, and when he kissed her she felt like she could have fainted from pure joy.  That night was enchanting as well.  She remembered how they had stood arms wrapped around each other, almost dancing, but sort of just rocking back and forth.  It was incredibly sweet.  She missed that feeling of being happy and feeling like he wanted and loved her.  Lately, she had not felt that way at all.     

     After a few hours had gone by, Lola decided to go back home.  She figured she should try to accomplish some more homework before the day was over.  As she drove home, a song came on the radio that reminded her of Wally.  She had been unsuccessfully trying not to think about him, and this song was not helping.  Maybe it was because she truly didn’t want to stop thinking about him.  As she pulled into her driveway and turned off the car, she gave up.  She couldn’t take pretending to be happy anymore.  She sat in her car and sobbed like a baby for a few minutes before she composed herself again.  She missed him so much and just wished for him to hold her and tell her he loved her.  She did not want her mother to see her like that because she did not want to explain why.  She did not want to really tell anyone like her family and friends that she had been fighting with Wally because she didn’t want them to dislike him.  She supposed this was because she never gave up hope that things would be okay between them.  Lola had to tell her mother something though, otherwise, she would have thought she had been a miserable bitch lately for no reason.  She only said that they had been arguing a little though and gave no further detail and did not want to talk about it.  “This is what I get for being such a dreamer, maybe I just need to accept the fact that I’ll never have my fairytale.” Lola thought, but knew she couldn’t accept. 

        Just as she was putting her key in the door she heard footsteps behind her and turned around, startled.  “Lola, I’m so sorry!” Wally said.  She couldn’t believe it; Wally had come to find her and apologize!  She smiled and gazed into his eyes, saying “It’s okay Wally, I’m sorry too.”  He took her hands, continued to apologize for hurting her, and said “I love you, Lola.  No matter what problems life throws at us, I’ll always love you and I’ll never leave you again.  I couldn’t bear to live my life without you, Lola.”  “Aww, I love you too Wally, I always have, but what about your problems?” she asked.  “I’ll figure everything out, no matter what I have to do.  We’ll do it together.  As long as we are together, everything will be fine.” Wally lovingly told her.  “I’m so happy to hear you say that, Wally, you really are my prince, aren’t you?”  “Yes, and you are my beautiful, kind, sweet and patient princess, with whom I’d love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life.” Wally declared.  Lola was at a loss for words.  She giggled and smiled at him.  Looking in her eyes, Wally knew she felt the same way.  He pulled her closer to him, smiled at her, and kissed her more passionately than ever before.  It was magical; Lola felt like she had finally found everything she had wanted.  They were in love and because Lola never gave up, they would really live happily ever after, as she had always dreamed.  THE END. 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Fun with Fashion: Playing Dress Up!

Ciao darlings,
     I've had quite an interesting past week or so; I've been a little stressed (what else is new).  School  (Midterms!!) and other issues have been bothering me.  I absolutely hate arguing with people.  There are very few people in the world I argue with and not even very often, but I hate it.  Feeling like you've hurt someone or that they've hurt you, especially when you love them, is an awful thing.  Now that I think about it, I guess I really only ever argue with people I love; I don’t care enough about the opinions of those I don’t to argue with them.  Everything's all right now, I’m pretty sure.  I just need to keep myself focused and just try to deal with everything as best as I can.  To cheer myself up, I saw "The Vow"  with my mom last week.  It is such a cute movie!  It was so sweet how much the husband in the movie loved his wife, and Channing Tatum is absolutely adorable!  See it, it's precious! 
     Anyway, on to the point of this post!  I think I told you guys that one day during my winter break from school, in the beginning of January, I spent a day essentially playing dress up! Haha! Don't judge me!  I have always loved pretty, girly, frilly, things, especially dresses/skirts, the poofier and more tutu-like the better!  I bought a few of these fun petticoats and skirts a while ago, in the summer, I think, but I never wore them until then.  I was bored and needed a fun day to myself before school started this semester, so I turned on some fun music and dressed up in all my frilly skirts and took pictures.  Most fashion bloggers are pretty much playing dress-up, some not as much, some more-so, but it's all basically having fun with fashion.  It does not make you immature.  I have loved girly, frilly, dresses since I was a little girl, and I will love them until I'm an old woman; age doesn't change what you love.  One thing it has done though is change how much I care about other's opinion of me or what I do.  I will wear pink tutu skirts and take pictures when I feel like it and if you think I'm strange, that's awesome for you, but has no effect on me.  Smile
     So, I finally finished looking though the pictures and editing them, so here they are!  They're a little over a month old, so I figured I should hurry up and post them.  It's interesting to look at pictures and see how you can change a little in a month or so.  I've dyed my hair a little darker (was dark brown, now it's black) since then and have lost some more weight, but I still love the pictures.  I look cute and I know it! Lol!  Hope you all have a wonderful week, enjoy!  Comment below if you'd like and follow the blog.   There will be a lot of pictures.  I had a little too much fun with this! Winking smile  The last 2 posts had none, so it balances out somehow.  :)
1.) Pastel Fairy
I adore this petticoat I bought from Domino Dollhouse's website.  They have a lot of them in other colors right now too.  So girly and fun! Very fun to twirl in! Ha!  Yes, I do think I’m a fairy princess, deal with it. Winking smile
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Pink Corset Top and Black Shrug: Torrid, Petticoat skirt:, Tights: Forever 21, Heels: Target, Crown/Tiara, Necklace, & Ring: Forever 21 
2.) Bubblegum Tutu!
I absolutely adore this skirt!  I took dance class when I was about 6 or 7 for about a year and my favorite part was definitely the outfits, particularly the tutu!  I love the bubblegum pink color of this skirt,the poofyness, and the layers of frilly chiffon!  It looks like such a delightful confection! Obviously, it makes me happy. Open-mouthed smile
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168             206

Lace top: Forever 21, Tank top: Lane Bryant, Heels: Candie’s @ Kohl’s, Necklace: Claire’s, Chiffon Tutu Skirt: Custom made from
3.) Pink Circle Skirt
I couldn’t figure out how to wear this skirt.  First of all, I bought it in the summer and now it’s way too big, so I had to try to clip it in the back, which didn’t work so well.  Second, I couldn’t figure out what kind of top to wear with it.  I tried a few different ones…which do you like?  I love the skirt though and the petticoat I got to go with it, underneath. Smile
222           232
Another skirt good for twirling in…ha! Winking smile
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Staring at the ceiling…lol!
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Skirt & Petticoat: Custom made from, Jacket: Lane Bryant, Lace top: Forever 21, Polka dot tank top: Lane Bryant, Black tank top: Avenue, Heels: Torrid, Ring/Bracelet/Earrings: Forever 21, Necklace: gift
4.) Mint Fairy?
So I got the same skirt as in the first outfit in this pretty mint color as well.  I decided I’d wear something else I bought and never wore with it: my Lime Crime “Mint to Be” lipstick.  Definitely my most subtle colored lipstick, no? Winking smile  While I love the color, no I wouldn’t wear it outside my house (ha!) and I don’t really like it on me too much…maybe on someone with lighter hair…  I look like a crazy Tinkerbell, ha!
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Petticoat skirt:, Top: Lane Bryant, Necklace & Bracelets: Forever 21, Heels: Target
     That’s all for now.  Hope you enjoyed my dress-up fun as much as I did, haha!  I’m not normal, I’m aware and fine with it.  Normalcy is boring anyway. Winking smile  I’ll be doing a fun tag post soon because a sweet blogger friend of mine tagged me, so look out for that.  Have a lovely weekend!
                                                                                   ♥  Xoxo Gabriella

Monday, February 13, 2012


Short Story:


            It was a bright and beautiful Saturday afternoon.  It was winter; the sky was a lovely and enchanting bluish-gray, and there were tiny snowflakes falling slowly from the few clouds scattered across the sky.  Lola had spent most of the day being excited about and getting ready to see Wally, her boyfriend of the past few months.  She tried very hard not to seem so needy and desperate to see him, but she had been having trouble disguising her emotions lately, particularly around him.  This was strange for her because she tended to be the kind of girl who was very good at concealing the fact that she liked a guy.  She had grown quite tired of it over the years.  Something was different with Wally; she did not want to hide her feelings from him, even though she had a terrifying fear of rejection based on years of liking boys who had never returned her affections, though most of them had no idea she liked them anyway.  She was not usually one to go after a guy; she had usually waited around for them to pursue her.  This was new and different though.  She wanted to see Wally and talk to him all the time, even though she was a little shy.  She had not seen him in about a week, which does not sound like a very long time, but to her it felt like months.  Maybe she was being a little overdramatic but she did not care.  Every time she would go a while without seeing him and start to miss him, it would remind her of the time not so long ago that she had missed him without knowing if she would ever see him again.  She tried not to think about that time, for it made her sad, but once in a while, when she was missing him, those thoughts would sneak into her mind.  She knew now that he did love her and would not be leaving, but she had always been a worrier.

            She woke up that morning hours before she needed to, so she would have time to choose an outfit that would make her feel confident and hopefully one in which Wally would think she looked beautiful.  She also needed time to fix her long thick hair and put on her makeup.  As she put on her favorite pink lipstick, she could not help but imagine the last time she had kissed Wally.  It was magical, even though he always made her a little nervous.  It was not because he did anything or that he scared her or anything, in fact he made her feel so happy whenever he was near.  She just loved him so much that she was somewhat paralyzed by it in a way.  She would always tell herself before they would meet: “This time when I see him, I will grab him and kiss him, and then not be too shy to talk to him about absolutely everything!”  Then, she would see him, all her plans would disappear, and her mind would go blank.  Well, maybe blank is the wrong way to describe it because she was always thinking and over thinking about everything!  Her mind would just get clouded by certain thoughts when she saw him, causing her to forget the list of things she wanted to talk to him about.  She would stare into his eyes as he spoke, recording every word in her mind.  As she did this her thoughts would wander and think things like: “God, I love him so much.  I wonder if he thinks of me the way I think of him.  What was it I wanted to say to him….I made a list somewhere…who knows? I just wish he’d grab me and hold me and kiss me right now.  He’s so adorable…and I love the way he talks and says my name.  Oh gosh, he’s asked me another question that’s difficult for me to answer aloud…if I do not respond he’s going to think I’m an idiot.  Why can’t I answer this?…what has he asked me?  Where do I want our relationship to go? Hmm…well I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to kiss him right now and always.  I want his hands caressing my…everything…oh gosh, what am I thinking about, he’s waiting for me to answer…focus!”  Then she would finally mutter something about how it’s a hard question to answer and that she didn’t know, feeling like she should have tried harder or that she had failed a test.     

            It was almost three o’clock, and she was planning to meet him at four at their local coffee shop and bookstore.  She tried to think of what she could do to make herself act more comfortable and talk to him more.  She had this terrifying fear that one day he would grow tired of her shyness that he had initially told her was cute and sweet, and would leave her.  She could not bear the thought of letting her ridiculous lack of outgoing social skills ruin something so important to her.  She did not want to let her shyness ruin what could be her fairy tale.  Her prince had finally shown up, and she could not bear the thought of losing him.  Lola arrived to meet him a half hour early and as she wandered around the bookshelves, her mind drifted off into a wishful daydream:

Wally arrived at Lola’s house to visit her on a lovely winter evening.  Snow was softly falling behind his silhouette in her door.  She opened the door, their eyes met, and he grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss.  He made her entirely forget that she was nervous and that she was rather inexperienced.  He made her feel like she was the only girl in the world that mattered to him.  They spent the rest of the evening cuddled in each other’s arms, whispering sweet words for no one else to hear in each other’s ears, and kissing like they’d been in love for years.

        “Bzzzzzz!” Lola’s cell phone buzzed loudly in her purse, shocking her out of her daydream and back into reality.  Slightly disappointed, she reached into her purse and checked her phone.  It was a message from Wally.  He would be there in five minutes, he said.  She went and sat at a table, reading a book while she waited for him, trying not to lose her nerve.  Shortly after, he arrived.  She saw him walk towards her and as much as she swore to herself that she would not let it happen again, the sight of him made her forget and be completely unable to do and say everything she had planned.  She said hello and they exchanged pleasantries.  She had let it happen again…and it made her somewhat disappointed in herself.  Why was it so hard for her to go after what she wanted?  She had a nice time, as she always did when she spent time with him, but she still wished she had not lost her nerve and had been able to come up with more things to say to him.  Although it may have been inappropriate in the middle of a public place, she wished for nothing else but for him to tell her how much he loved her, kiss her, and make her forget about what she had been so nervous.  Soon, a few hours had gone by and it was time to go. 

“Next time, it will happen like in my daydreams” she thought.  Maybe she was being a bit too greedy.  She should not have expected all her dreams to come true all at one time.  At least she had found her prince; the rest would hopefully come later.  She was very happy to be in love with him and though she still wanted more, she would have to wait.  She had always been so patient throughout most of her life, why now was she being so impatient all of a sudden.  It must be because she loves him and had never felt this way about anyone before.  Hopefully, good things will come to those who wait.  One day soon she would be able to talk to him without her mind being so clouded and one day the things in her daydreams would come true.  She had to believe it, being such a dreamer hopefully would not fail her this time.  Wally was everything she had ever wanted.  As she watched him walk out the door, she smiled, and hoped they would be very happy together forever.    

                                                                                            Xoxo Gabriella


P.S. In case you happen to read this, Hi Adi!  Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart! I love you! 

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Power of Words

Ciao everyone, 

     I wanted to write about something I have been thinking about lately and much of my life, the power of words (I'm an English Literature minor who loves to read...).  Spoken or written, either way, I feel that sometimes some people do not entirely realize the power, influence, or effect that words can have.  Words can build confidence, tear it down, express emotion, make one fall in love, cause various emotions, cause people to end their lives, or even convince them they have a reason to live, among many other things.  I realize these do not always apply, depending on the person and situation, but they are just some general and some extreme examples.  I know, I think about random and strange things, but I feel it's important.  I just wanted to write my opinion on this subject that has been on my mind for a few reasons lately and has been affecting a few different parts of my life.  

     One example of this I have thought about lately is when you tell someone "I love you" or "I'm in love with you."  This statement can be very powerful or even meaningless depending on the person saying it, their feelings, the context in which it is said, etc.  Sometimes, some people carelessly throw those words around to get something they want or just to make the other person not feel bad.  Other people take care to whom and when they use them because they view them as special and only reserved for those whom you truly love.  Personally, I would never tell someone I loved them if I did not entirely and truly feel that I knew I did.  If I say that phrase to someone, it means that I trust that person enough to share my feelings with and that I count them among the people whom I would never want to live my life without.  I tend to be rather shy and usually (or used to) keep most of my emotions to myself, so if I manage to tell someone that I love them (other than family or something), it means I have put a lot of thought into it and really trust that the person to whom I was speaking would not take it lightly.  Some people place less value on the words "I love you" and more on actions that show it, which is fine.  Yes, actions are important as well.  If you tell someone you love them and then go and want to be with or kiss someone else, obviously you did not mean it and place little value on the words.  I do think it's important to try to show someone that you love them because actions do show how you feel as well.  Personally, I prefer both.  I think there is just something magical about seeing and hearing those words that should not be taken for granted.  I don't know about you, but nothing would make me happier than when someone I love says those words to me.  Even writing them is pretty amazing  , but I still think it's nice to hear them. 

     Also, someone recently mentioned to me that saying "I love you" over and over again makes it lose its meaning.  I do not think so at all, at least not for me.  Sure, maybe if you do not mean it and if you said it like 50 times a day maybe it might, but if the person saying it still really means it and just wanted to express that, I think there is nothing wrong with it.  I think it's sweet, in fact.  Who would not want their girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/ whatever to tell them they love them every day?  I know that when I hopefully get married, I would love my husband to tell me that he loves me quite often and I'd do the same in return.                     

     Something else that kind of relates to the previous topic that also shows the importance of words is when someone writes something for another person.  As someone who also loves to write as well as read, I have written many different stories, research papers, even some poems, etc. over the years.  Of all these writings, very few have I written specifically for and given to other people.  In my opinion, when you write something like a poem or story or letter, especially something involving your emotions/feelings, it makes you somewhat vulnerable and only with few people would I trust or love enough to share things like that.  I always dreamed that one day a boy whom I loved would write something for me that I inspired.  I don't know if I ever really believed it might happen, since I tend to be such a hopeless dreamer, but it worked out for once. Yay!  :)  My boyfriend recently wrote me a poem and when I read it, I literally had to stop myself from squealing with joy! (Haha!)  It was beautiful and I read it over and over again.  I was so thrilled and loved that he would take the time to do that for me.    It was a dream come true; he's so sweet.           

     Another topic that involves the effect words can have that I have thought about recently is bullying.  If you do not know, I am currently studying to be an elementary school teacher, so bullying is a topic I have to think about because it affects many students in schools everywhere today.  It has been brought up many times during my college education so far such as what to do about bullying in the classroom, classroom management ideas to help prevent it, and even social studies lessons to teach children why bullying is wrong and how it makes others feel.  I recently attended an education club meeting at my university and the speaker gave a presentation on bullying.  Most of what she said I had heard before but she did give us a few good examples of ways to incorporate prevention of bullying into the curriculum.  She told us about a few books that could be incorporated into reading class on the topic and even gave us a few lesson plans we could use.  
     As a child, I did witness other children being bullied, not very seriously as I have seen since then or in the news, but there has always been bullying of some sort in schools.  I never really experienced it much firsthand. Sure, I did a little bit, all people most likely do at some point in life.  I was probably called "fat" or something like that a few times, but nothing that really affected me too much.  I was fortunately always in a rather sheltered, strict school (private, Catholic) where much bullying was not really seen or tolerated.  I do remember one boy used to tease me about my father being in the "mob" because he is a somewhat intimidating-looking Italian man (haha!) but that was not really a big deal either...I found it sort of comical!  I am very aware though that many students do experience extreme amounts of bullying in school today.  It's such a shame and I'll never entirely understand why or how some people and children can not realize what they're doing is wrong and how cruel bullying can be.  I hate to see a story on the news about a child who could not take being bullied anymore and took their own life because of it.  It's so sad.  Much of this bullying involves words, cruel words, either said in person or more often today, on the internet.  Anyway, hopefully as a future teacher, I hope I can help explain to my students the seriousness of this issue and incorporate bullying prevention into my lessons.  That trite phrase they used to tell children: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" is rather untrue.  Yes, they cannot physically hurt you, but emotional pain is also serious and can sometimes lead to worse things, depending on the person.

     Okay, that little (or large...) rant went in such random, poems, and bullying in schools...totally normal!  They are important/interesting things to think about though.  Comment below, I have a few questions for you if you'd like to discuss my random topics (This is such a teacher habit I've developed: always have questions prepared after reading something...haha!):

What is your opinion on the power/importance of words? 
What do you think about the importance of saying "I love you"?
Have any of you ever had any experiences with bullying? 
Have you ever had a teacher who helped you in a situation where you were being bullied or did they teach anything about it in your school as a child?        

P.S. Sorry no pictures today...It would sort of distract from the general topic/message, if you get my point.  I have lots of picture filled posts planned when I get a chance though.  Soon hopefully!  :)

                                                                        Xoxo Gabriella